stay

awake 

for 

me

don't

let

me 

go

I

adore

you

I

am

safe

with

you

Maybe just maybe this means a lot more to me than I initially expected.

pre-exam anxieties are a bitch

had such a weird day today

this girl talks to me okay more like shouts at me at the smoking area and proceeds to hold a conversation with me until i ask her to sit a little closer to me so we can stop shouting at each other

and it's so funny cause she talked to me like she's known me for years and asked me if i think she's handsome cause she said i'm pretty (lol okay) and i guess she's into girls but so funny

yay new friend hahahahaha

i bought a new book today, there's a certain sort of comfort that comes with buying books

books are such lovely, magical things, i can't wait for may, to spend time at starbucks with coffee, cigs and books

sooooo i just decided on a word to ink on my ribs and i'm as excited as a five year old hehehehehe

and no the word is not 'weightless' because the tattooist will laugh at me (how are you weightless, i see fats here)

clearly, i need to leave my mind in the dumpster and walk around for a bit

So we sat at Starbucks and talked minimally for the two hours we were there. I guess we were sad, but it feels nice to be sad with someone else who's sad too.

Everyone around us were too noisy and happy, and it felt suffocating. Like how are you people so fucking happy, then I remember I exist - why am I always so fucking sadddddddd

"I guess you just understand sadness, and that just makes you wiser"

(Teach me the art of disappearing) I've been feeling so unbalanced as of late, it's okay.

I think this is the first time in months that I'm seeing something like a sunrise. Of course if I lived in the east, I'd see pretty sunrises everyday but I wouldn't take it for granted. Nothing good should ever be taken for granted.

I just boarded this bus with a messy mane but I'm hiding behind my shades so it's all good.

May this Good Friday be meaningful to all of you. (Tho I didn't actually give up anything for Lent oops)

I'm sorry, too

I wish we had kept in touch x

I am never truly happy. Some days, I'm just a little less sad than others.

Some days, I really want it all to end.

People overwhelm me with their negativity, it really doesn't kill to be less bitter.

Not all of it is really any bad.

B l a m e l e s s

How quickly we forget
How quickly we're replaced
How quickly the world moves on
How quickly people turn their backs

These memories, they cut me
(but I will not falter or break)

For better days lie just ahead
So worry not, you pretty souls
We'll have
Happiness in jars as keepsakes

And angels in our friends and in the people we meet

The past two weeks felt like a dream, but you know the thing about dreams is that you wake up feeling a little disoriented, kinda half hoping that it isn't over. It is, and now it is back to the mundane routine of school.

Eat, study, repeat.

Or at least, that's how it's supposed to be till my body decided to go on strike the day before and I am left with a two day extended break from life.

Eat meds, sleep, repeat.

I shall leave my books alone for just a day more. Tomorrow though, is time for change.

Wretched

People come and go
I know that

(but why am I still sad)

had a brilliant christmas eve, christmas day, and boxing day

so maybe it isn't really that sad
currently, the good outweighs the bad

and I'm glad you're not filling up my empty spaces and crevices
in my wretched body

you're gone now, stay gone,
stay away from me.

you aren't allowed to mess with my head,
you can have these memories, I don't
want them anymore.

i am happy now,
you broke me and you left
but I am a lion heart
and you are a wreck

i know what it means to be happy but sad but happy but sad, and simultaneously feeling all kinds of emotions hitting me in one fleeting moment

and that is okay.
i am alive

It seems like I never stop hurting.

(but) I will be a lion hearted girl

Online Globe Adventures

3am skype calls w le cupcake and our 80 seconds around the world skypementary series. Here is her globe and my exhausted face. 12.30pm to 10.30pm shifts at a busy book shop for 4 days straight is quite the killer.

I realise my days are more bearable when I've had two or three cups of coffee. Also, hiding behind my hair when someone familiar walks by is quite the blessing, they hardly stop to say hi because they do not recognise me. Some do, and we have the most awkward fake conversations and it leaves me wondering why they even bothered talking to me in the first place.

Impulsive decision to make christmas cards this year instead of sending out the usual christmas cards I buy from the shops. Who knew DIY could be so...... tiring?

I've got 30 + cards left to complete. If only I was this inspired for school.

Also, gotta love the nights/days when Jeslyn and sam sleep over/come over. My days feel less empty, and less tiresome to get through.

Week 10 of university and I'm already lagging behind. I could kick myself, gawd get your shit together. It feels weird being back in school though, with a bunch of people I hardly know. Gotta suck it up and start studying, *motivation be my best friend*. H's been trying to convince me to join Muay Thai, he said it's really fun. I said I wanted to lose weight and he said "huh what weight? you're skinny eh". (okay)

My couch is clothed in the happiest colours and tulips, so I thought it deserved to be featured in this space. Everyone's having a bad time lately, it is break up season, and I am here, dancing in my house and avoiding my phone (and my books).

My favourite holiday is in a few weeks, hello CHRISTMAS, you have been long awaited. Wrote up a list of people I'm gonna send christmas cards to, and I have to write up the list of party people with C for our annual christmas party at B's. So so so exciting, I love all the warm fuzziness christmas brings, almost feels like I might actually get out of this shit of a year alive.

Bus rides on a rainy day are really quite the best thing. That and kissing in the rain. In the months leading up to Christmas, I become a sappy romantic leo girl.