No one's really going to understand all of me

but I try anyway

I've always wondered what it would be like, to know all of someone. To know their hurts, their anger, their happiness and so forth. I don't know how I became this silly, broken thing. Or when, this urge to end things before they begin, to leave someone before they think of leaving me, manifested in my brain. To hurt myself, before I hurt someone else. It's always the same sickening cycle. I have constantly left people and they never stop me.



To sink so much that you can't sink anymore, that every bad thing that happens doesn't hurt anymore. It kind of gets predictable, the whole 'well, nothing good ever stays with me, this isn't real', it destroys you.

but I am trying anyway