I wish I didn't ever feel weary. I think of all the things I could possibly be doing and it makes me hate sleep very much, but I loooooove to sleep. It's an oxymoron, really.

1. Reading
2. Writing
3. Listening to music
4. Sitting in a park
5. Have coffee
6. Smoke cigarettes
7. Helping someone
8. Loving people (I try)
-
-

111. Loving myself (but, I've come a long way)

It's a long list and all this sums up my inadequacy and it makes me feel very small. A tiny person in an ever expanding universe, looked down upon by the stars, clouds, sun and moon. I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels too much, or too little, or sometimes nothing at all, and sometimes everything at once.

Sometimes, sleep is good. They can't provoke me when I'm half dead (asleep) and I don't feel the violent need to self destruct. I don't know when I became like this.