Today, I realised that I am always on the extremes of any spectrum. For instance, I'd always shower with either scalding hot water or icy cold water. After a long, hectic day, a hot shower is most comforting. Your skin is red and raw and you can leave marks on them with your fingertips. Or a bitter sort of cold (shower) that you feel in your bones. I'm still trying to decide if this makes me strange or not.
These days, I'm mostly happy and that is strange. Maybe the Leo girl in me has finally reared its head and I bounce back from any bad thing (read: heart break) that happens to me in the blink of an eye. Or maybe I've grown so much these two months that the acceptance that 'things go wrong sometimes' comes easily now.
When I turned 21, I didn't really feel any wiser. It was another year I'd be alive for and just a human milestone that was socially unacceptable not to celebrate and throw a party for. This week however, I find myself speaking appropriate words for the situation at hand. These words jump around in my mind and out of my mouth into solid ideas of 'life as it is' that I never even knew I understood about. My friends are impressed with the way I toss these ideas into the air about all this letting go and letting it be, impressing myself as well because I never knew these ideas even existed in my head.
The human mind is mysterious indeed but I guess that's how you know you've grown. I feel differently now, I feel more at peace with myself and it doesn't really hurt all that much anymore.
This feeling might pass all too quickly and I might be a sad bit of a human mess all over again but I am going to bask in this new perspective until it fades away.
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